


In Another Life Time

by KawaiSonadowLover100



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Forbidden Love, M/M, Mild Smut, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 05:37:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiSonadowLover100/pseuds/KawaiSonadowLover100
Summary: Open you eyes,Let the story begin.Gather roundCome in, come in.Let me tell you a taleLost in "sin".But fear not,For these two shall prevail,A love that would bloomWithout fail.But a love that shall grow,Centuries late,Yet nothing can matchSomething so great.





	1. Explenation

First of all, let me begin by telling you that this idea came to me somewhere around midnight on a Monday.

Now since that out of the way, I own the songs, they are originals and they have their own melody but you can create your own just for the sake of enjoying the story.

Third of all, my friend compelled me to make an alternate ending to the story so the last chapter is an alternative, it was not originally apart of the story.

And finally, bring some tissues...

PS. This is not historically accurate.

And it's my first lams story so I hope you guys like it!

Okay so just so you guys don't get confused:

 **Name:**  
This is when they sing.  
_This is when they talk  
Or letters or smth._

**_This is context, more explanations of what's happening._ **

Also, the book will have slight A/B/O in it as in males can get pregnant and some ish like that.


	2. What An Ugly Thought (pop/melody)

_**Dusk.** _

_**A coat of dark blue painted the sky, warm colors holding onto the horizon as stars were threatening to show. The moon was up high, full and shining in its glory. The last rays of the sun calling out to those who would watch.** _

_**The armada was resting yet their minds were still ever running with thoughts of bloodshed. Thoughts of what it might have been if the war just wasn't, and peace roamed throught the land.** _

_**All but one thought of this. His head was lowered, his gaze down on the water in the lake. His mind was racing with thoughts, heart beating with emotion. And worst of all, emotion and thoughts he mustn't feel or think.** _

_**With a sigh of longing, he turned but stopped once he saw the man in front of him. The spawn of his forbidden thoughts, of his forbidden emotion...** _

**Alexander:**  
Laurens, my friend,  
It's good to see you again.  
Where have you been?  
Been lookin for ya since who knows when.

I got promoted,  
A major general in an army  
Full of everyday people you see,  
I know that we can win!

_**He smiled softly at his friend and began walking with him toward their shared cabin, one that was farther away from the others.** _

**Laurens:**  
Well, congratulations Alexander,  
Now you're a commander.  
Good luck on my behalf.  
I hope to see you after the war  
And have a good laugh.

_**He hesitated. Should he tell him? Would he accept him? Would it be fine? Or would he reject him?** _

Though... I have but one request.  
Could you grant me it?  
It's been lying heavy on my chest  
But I don't think you'll see it fit.

_**Here goes nothing...** _

**Alexander:**  
Laurens.  
Whatever it is, speak now.  
If it's a secret,  
No one will know when, why or how!

_**Alexander spoke as he entered their shared cabin, Laurens glad that they're away from prying eyes and ears.** _

_**He gulp and led Alexander to their shared bedroom and sat him on one of the beds. Minutes that felt like hours passed before he finally spoke...** _

**Laurens:**  
_Listen, Alexander..._

It ain't as easy as it may look.  
It's not something you can open and read in a book.

I got this feeling  
And I want it away.  
I wish you would help me,  
What do you say?

_**The other just smiled and placed a hand upon his for comfort... __**_ __

__**Alexander:**  
_Anything._ _ _

**Laurens:*sighs***  
_Don't freak out. Please._

I know you hold your wife  
Dear to you,  
But once you came into my life... Alexander...  
I just knew...  
My heart you threw  
And my sanity flew  
And through my emotions came a knife... 

**_He stood and turned from his friend, unable to meet his gaze for the next verse..._ **

What an ugly thought,  
To think of us that way.  
And even though we fought,  
Still by my side you stay. 

"Whatever will I do?"  
I ask myself these nights.  
I gaze up at the sky,  
Staring at starlights. 

_**He took a step forward as he sang, letting his emotions pour out into the words and verses as Alexander listened, eyes gradually growing wide...**_

Then I pull my sword  
And stare at my reflection.  
"Oh God, Jesus Lord."  
I stand up to attention. 

_**He turned to face his friend, a sad smile on his face as his eyes start shining. He locks eyes with Alexander, keeping it throughout his next verse even though all he wanted to do was face away from the shocked expression...**_

___And then I see your face_  
And I can feel my heart  
Starting up race,  
Tearing me apart. 

And I think to myself only,  
"What ever would you do?"  
Would you really show me  
If you felt it too? 

_**Giving up on trying, he looked down. He couldn't keep staring at those widened eyes. He couldn't get lost. He needed to get this off his chest...** _

But then you turn your gaze  
Away from my eyes.  
And I realized...  
It's only a phase... 

_**His eyes get glassier, unshed tears ready to fall. He told himself he wouldn't cry, voice breaking...** _

And you start... to walk... away...  
And I just stay here...  
And think...  
"What an ugly thought..." 

_**He hushes for a moment, composing himself. He needed to go through with this. It's too late to back out now. With a deep breath, he locks eyes with Alexander and finishes his last verses, determination set clear in his gaze and voice...** _

What an ugly thought.  
To think of us that way.  
And though you make me hot,  
I keep myself at bay. 

What an ugly thought.  
You never would agree.  
We only would get caught.  
If you stayed with me. 

"What an ugly thought!"  
They would all voice!  
They'd tear us apart,  
Not having any choice! 

What an ugly thought!  
We'd be left in poverty!  
And all will be lost,  
Along with your legacy! 

What an ugly thought!  
I think of it each night..  
I'm not trying to get shot.  
I don't want us to fight. 

_**Tears finally poured down his cheeks as he let himself loose. It was all out now. Nothing to hide. All he could do is embrace for whatever reaction Alexander would throw at him...** _

What an ugly thought...  
What would you have said...  
If we stayed and got caught...  
Lying together in bed... 

"What an ugly thought"...  
It is what you'd say...  
What an ugly thought...  
To think of us that way... 

Rid me of this thought.  
Rid me of this pain.  
Give it all you got.  
Help me become sane.. again... 

_**As the last of Laurens's tears fell, Alexander stood there shocked looking at the other man with great worry and anger... And... maybe something else...** _


	3. Last Life Line (hip hop/rap)

**Alexander:**  
What are you saying?!

**_Or maybe not..._ **

We can't do this and you know it too,  
What if they find out about me and you,  
What would Eliza do?  
Our lives would be through!  
There's no way we could do this  
And you know it's true!

**_He yelled pacing furiously in front of Laurens whose tears just begged to spill again..._ **

**Laurens:**  
Please, just this one time  
This won't mean you're mine  
I promise, afterwards, I'll be fine,  
You're my last life line!

**_He had his hands on his chest, just wanting the hurtful truth to go away..._ **

**Alexander:**  
You're acting like you're going insane,  
What's going on in your brain?  
Are you listenin to what you're sayin?  
Or are you just playin some sort of fuckin game?

**_That made him stop. He looked up at Alexander who was slightly out of breath. His brows were furrowed, his lips slightly parted, tears pouring down his cheeks again..._ **

**Laurens:**  
_You think I wanna feel this way..?.._

**_He stood straight and lowered his gaze, the full moon casting shadows on his eyes..._ **

I've been going crazy ever since we met,  
Don't know how it happened but it ain't finished yet.  
And you say I'm playin  
That I can't hear what I'm sayin  
But you're right, I'm goin insane  
As long as I keep it bottled in  
And I'm never gonna win  
And never is a long time  
Never gonna be mine,  
Never gonna be fine,  
I am on my last life line!

And you refuse to help me!  
You refuse to save me!  
"You and Eliza" it should be,  
No room for "we"!  
Never gonna be you and me.!..

**_He broke down, a sobbing mess, tears like a river flowing down, the knife in his heart stabbing him over and over and over again. He choked on his words, waited a few moments, and tried again..._ **

So I'm beggin...  
So I'm prayin... to any God that's out there...  
To give me more time...  
Help me survive...  
Make me be fine...  
I am on my last life line...

**_He couldn't bring himself to meet Alexander's eyes again so he stood there, trembling in his shoes. He wanted this to be over, to be a dream, to make it stop..._ **


	4. Break Me (pop/hip hop)

**Alexander:*sighs***  
_What do you want me to do?.._

_**His ears perked up, eyes opening wide and head lifting, locking his eyes with the slightly taller man...** _

**Laurens:**  
_Are you sure..?_

**Alexander:**  
_I wanna help you. Don't know how so I need you to tell me what to do._

**Laurens:**  
_I want you to feel good too..._

**Alexander:*softly smiles***  
_Show me, then maybe I will do._

**Laurens: *small smile***  
_I want you to kiss me..._

**_A pause. They stood there. Staring at each other in silence. They stepped closer. And closer and closer. Until their chests touched. Slowly, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, Alexander hesitating.. then he crashed their lips together. What was this feeling? What could it be? It felt like sparks flying, like they couldn't breathe anymore._ **

**_It felt weird... yet strangely right. The Way their noses would bump into each other when their lips molded into one and the way he could feel Alexander's small subtle was a reminder that this was real. It was really happening._ **

**_Much too soon, to both of their dismay, the broke off, slightly out of breathe..._ **

I want you to hold me,  
Wrap your arms around me,  
Get close...

**_He led Alexander's arms around his waist, the taller seeming less hesitant than before..._ **

I want you to touch me...  
Feel me...  
Take me..  
I want you to break me.

**_They kissed again..._ **

Make me feel weak on my knees,  
Do as you please.  
Don't hold back,  
Fill in what I lack.

**_To the wall they went, Alexander pushing him towards it, grinding down on him, biting and kissing his neck..._ **

I want you to feel good, too  
Like I do when I'm with you.  
Make me moan- Ah!-, make me groan- Ngh!-,  
Make me scream like it's the last time  
I'll see the gleam of the sunlight.

**_He pushed Laurens down on the bed, their tops already off..._ **

Pull my hair,  
Touch me here, there, everywhere.  
Make me forget about the world and it's pain,  
Like a wild animal tame me,  
Claim me,  
Take me,  
I want you to break me.

( **Alexander:** I'll break you.)

**_Their bottoms off, both under the covers, the heat getting to them..._ **

Don't be shy,  
It's just you and I,  
God I think I could fly,  
I want you to make me cry!

( **Alexander:** I will make you-)

**_He felt wet down there, fingers playing around, a moaning mess is what he became..._ **

So give me all you got!  
Change the plot!  
Make a twist,  
Leave them out in the mist!

( **Alexander:** Leave em out!)

Tonight it's you  
And me  
And ecstasy!  
Tonight it's lust  
And us  
And love!

**_He felt him in himself. The tightness, the roughness, yet the soft warm feeling in his chest grew even more with every move..._ **

So show me what you're made of,  
Don't you dare break off!  
Come on, let's take off!

Come, I'll be fine,  
Take me to cloud nine,  
Come on open up your mind!

Come on,  
I know you got the key.  
If you don't, don't worry  
Just break me!

**_They were both panting, feeling each other, going wild with every thrust, with every inhale, with every touch..._ **

**_It's what he wanted, right? It's what he got. And yet he couldn't stop the tears from pouring down..._ **


	5. Teary Eyes (pop/melody)

**_Alexander kept his eyes closed. He did want to help his friend, that much was true, but he feared that if he opened them, reality would come crashing down way too soon... He feared he'd wake up to the harsh rules of reality..._ **

**_But he did... He opened his eyes as he heard a sob... He stopped..._ **

**Alexander:**   
_Why are you crying?_

Does it hurt that bad  
That I made you sad,  
That I made you cry  
So you can't fly anymore?

**_Laurens couldn't face him, his head tilted to the side, the stream pouring down his cheeks and nose..._ **

Isn't this what you wanted,  
Isn't this what you sought out for?  
What else could you want,  
Do you want more?

**_He sighed. He thrusted and gained a gasp from the man below him, catching him off guard..._ **

Forget about the world outside,  
Focus on me, on us, on this.  
There's nothing you can hide from me.

I know when you're upset,  
I know when you're down,  
I can feel it even if I'm blind,  
I don't need to see your frown to know.

I know the world's not fair,  
So leave it in the dust out there,  
Focus on us right here,  
Don't shed another tear,  
Throw away your fear,  
Only my voice you hear.

Let down your disguise,  
There no need for lies,  
So wipe away those teary eyes.

**_He cupped John's cheeks, forcing him to lock eyes with him. He leaned down and kissed him softly, sparks flying yet again. They broke off, Laurens smiling softly back at him..._ **

**Laurens:*wraps arms around Alexander's neck***  
I want you to kiss me...

**Alexander:*thrusts***  
I know the world's not fair...

**Laurens:*gasps***  
I want you to hold me...

**Alexander:**  
Focus on us right here...

**Laurens:**  
I want you to touch me...

**Alexander:**  
Let down your disguise,  
There's no need for lies...

**Laurens:**  
I want you to break me...

**Alexander:**  
So wipe away those teary eyes...


	6. Stay The Night (pop/melody)

**_The sky is dark and the moon is out, the cabins are silent, each and every one. Laurens and Hamilton lay in bed, thinking of what had just occurred._ **

**_They kissed, they touched, they felt, they loved. And both were too scared to admit it. All was quiet till John spoke up..._ **

**Laurens:**  
It's alright.  
You can go.  
You don't have to stay the night.  
I'll be fine here on my own.

Thanks for an amazing time.  
Don't worry,  
No longer on my last life line.

So it's okay, you can leave,  
There's just no need  
For you to stay and waste your time.

I'll stay here till dawn's light,  
But you don't have to stay the night.

**_And even though they lived in the same cabin..._ **

**Alexander:**   
_Laurens..._   
**.. *sighs*..**

You know I hate to see you down like this,  
So vulnerable, at your weakest.  
Not throwin shade,  
But it seems to be that you'll fade  
If I just go away,  
So if you don't mind I'll stay.

I'll stay the night.  
If that's alright with you.  
I'll stay the night,  
Just us two.

And we'll lay here, on the pillows and sheets till dawn's first light,  
So, if you don't mind,  
I'll stay the night.

**_Spoke Alexander as he turned to his side and wrapped his arm around Laurens's form, pulling him close to his chest. The heat on both of their faces could not be mistook, but still Laurens hesitated..._ **

**Laurens:**  
Listen to me now,  
And listen to me well.  
There's a secret  
That I need to tell...

Letters in my room...  
Ones I shall not send you...  
Find them and read them...  
Then burn them...  
If you want this to be between us two...

Read them once I'm gone...  
Not a minute before...  
That's how I'll know for sure...

**_Alexander looked at him serenely, but his expression softened even more once he saw the look on Laurens's face. So he agreed. He wrapped his arms more serculy around the other man and held him close like it was the last time he will..._ **


	7. Relish This Moment (melody)

**_It must have been somewhere around 5 in the morning as Alexander just couldn't sleep. He tried to, but he just could not matter what. He wanted to at least finish his papers, but he couldn't leave Laurens alone. He didn't want to either. So he sang to himself, fingers brushing though the other man's hair..._ **

**Alexander:**  
Relish this moment,  
While we still can.  
Relish this moment,  
For we'll never again.

Relish this moment,  
While it'll last.  
Relish this moment,  
Before it's the past.

Relish this moment,  
While It is true.  
Relish this moment,  
It's all we can do.

Relish this moment,  
So dry those tears.  
Relish this moment,  
Burn those fears.

Relish this moment,  
And God be our witness.  
Relish this moment,  
It's time to confess.

**_He paused as John stirred in his arms, he sushing him gently to go back to sleep..._ **

I'll relish this moment  
For the rest of my days,  
I'll relish this moment,  
Like the sun rays.

I'll relish this moment,  
Close to my heart.  
I'll relish this moment,  
Like a new start.

I'll relish this moment  
As we are now.  
I'll relish this moment,

_To you, that is my vow._

**_With a yawn and a final goodnight to the sleeping man, he finally closed his eyes as dawn came to greet them..._ **


	8. Could it Have Been... (hip hop/pop/melody)

**_A month had passed... And too much has happened..._ **

**Eliza:**  
_Alexander. There was a note attached to the inside of the letter. It says it's for only you._

**Alexander:**  
_Thank you._

**_As his wife left the room, Alexander sighed. He still couldn't get over it... He wanted to so badly, to just wake up from this horrible nightmare... But you can't escape reality. Slowly, he opened the letter and read it..._ **

_Dear Mister Hamilton,_

__

_I myself did not know of this_  
_And I'm sure neither do you._  
_So please, prepare yourself  
_ _Before you continue._

_I have not told Lafayette nor Mulligan_  
_For I know my son was doing the best he can to keep this a secret from all of you._  
_It is you choice wether you wish to tell  
Or if you want a lie to sell._

_The doctors examined the... corpse out in the wild._  
_And were shocked to find out that... he was with child.  
_ _***shocked***_

__

How could it be?  
Why, Laurens?  
You told me it was fine, that you weren't trying to be mine,  
That it was only one time..!

_Why did you have to die...._

**_*flash back*_ **

_Letters in my room.._  
_Ones I shall not send you..._  
_Find them and read them..._  
_Then burn them...  
_ _If you want this to be between us two..._

**_He stood up and went to search his room for Laurens's letters. No one knew of them, and He was yet to read them. What was he waiting for? He didn't know. The right moment? Maybe. But this wasn't the time to think of this right now._ **

**_He looked all around till he found every last one. He went through each of them, savoring every moment and memorizing the handwriting. He memorized the words written, in what order, how they were written, the emotions they held... If only he knew..._ **

**_He stood after he finished reading them all over and over again for the past two hours... He went by the fireplace and started up a flaming fire..._ **

I took the letters  
And I'm throwing them in the fire.  
No more proof will there be of our lust,  
Of our... desire.

Could it have been love?  
Could it have been pain?  
Could it have been something  
I wanted to gain?

**_He looked down from the fire and on the litters in his hands, grip gentle yet shaking, eyes glassy yet loving..._ **

What is this game we're playing,  
Our hearts clenching,  
Our breaths ceasing  
When our eyes are meeting?

When our eyes... were... meeting...

What was that feeling?  
What could it be?  
Why did I feel it  
When you called out to me?

Could it be love?  
Could it have been pain?  
Could it have been something you wanted to gain?!

I wish you were here,  
I wish you were near,  
I wish you could hear my crying whales  
So you could tell me.  
But, you see...  
Dead men... tell no tales...

**_He reread them one more time and as he finished reading a letter, he'd throw it into the fire, heart breaking and tears falling with every new flame coming from those broken words on paper._ **

 

"What an ugly thought..."  
Is what you'd always say...  
You weren't trying to get shot...  
But yet, fate will have her own way...

 

_In another lifetime, let us cross paths...  
I'd love to see your smile again, and hopefully, this time it lasts..._


End file.
